but, why?

i got a text from one of my closest friends today, telling me that she'd hooked up with someone last night. i asked who, and it turned out to be someone i used to have a crush on when i lived there. now, it's been two years and i think i'd pretty much gotten over hoping something would come of it when i was there, but for some reason it still bummed me out. why is that? i don't even care that she told me because it would have been worse/different if she hadn't. it's more that i'm bummed about the fact that i even CARE. but apparently i do.

sigh. emotions and feelings are stupid.

it's been a good weekend, that aside. i seem to have finally emerged from that horrible bout of depression i'd sunk into the last few weeks. i am once again determined to get into shape, to lose 15 lbs., and to get the school ball rolling. and i have goals set for the weight loss thing. of course, a weekend of drinking like this one does me no good, but it was fun to get out and see friends i hadn't seen in a long time. softball game today (go vern!) and beer and hot dogs in the sun. it's been a happy few days. thankfully.